Starting your dating profile off with a bad photo is like wearing a tank top to a custody hearing.
Your dating profile is essentially a resume. The goal of a polished resume is to get a job, just as the goal of a well-crafted dating profile is to get a date. This may sound like remedial advice, but you’d be shocked at how many people effectively start off their dating resume with the equivalent of a bullet point showcasing third place in a local grilling competition.
Pictures have weight.
There are primary photos and then there are peripherals which offer a little more flexibility. Just like an exam where certain sections are weighted more than others, not all pictures are equal. Effectively, there will be one picture that solidifies a connection and it won’t be #6 or the one of you underwater.
First impression photos hold about 90% of the decision making weight. Meaning if you have a flawless primary photo, you start off with 9 points, out of 10 (10 being the magic number for an initial connection). A perfect first photo doesn’t make your profile impervious—you can still screw this up with a full back tattoo of the General Lee or 2 truths and a lie that all seem to revolve around things that happened in prison, but it’s hard. And if you think I’m being shallow, test the theory for yourself. Post one of these genetic Powerball winners pics and 4 photos of different types of lettuce and wait for Bumble to contact you to saying you crashed their server.
So what makes a bad photo? 5 most common mistakes.
Facial/head obstruction – big Liz Taylor sunglasses glasses, ski goggles, or a giant sombrero. Bottom line, if we met for coffee and I wouldn’t recognize you, toss it. There are only two excuses for that for wearing a scarf that covers up the bottom half of your face. Witness protection or herpes outbreak.
Group photos – Playing the Where’s Waldo game where we have to traverse back and forth, using deductive reasoning to eliminate candidates is about as fun as the Socialist version of Monopoly. Don’t start a relationship out with a math problem.
Proximity/angle – The perfect shot fits your face and part of your upper torso into the frame—I don’t believe I need to say this, but FACING FORWARD. Consider it somewhere in between a driver’s license and gym selfie. Of course there are exceptions. Full body pics have the second most weight, but if you haven’t shown a clear photo of your face by pic 2, most people won’t make it to pic 3. It is the main reason BackDating.com lost it’s funding.
Too artsy – IG photo spots are fun! But leading with a photo of you submerged in a bathtub filled with colored balls is like putting glitter on your resume. It doesn’t improve the content.
Adding pets – I am as much of an animal lover as anyone, and posting pictures with your dogs is great. Having a dog is very attractive to a lot of people. But no one steps outside their dating perimeter solely because of a cute dog.
This is not a justification or a proposal of shallow behavior—(though let’s be honest—all of us, at some point, have had Pavlovian swipes based on something as stupid as abs or cleavage without even looking if that person lived in your state). There is so much more to a person than just a face. And that is 100% true in life.
Unfortunately, not in your first online dating photo.
So, to sum up, here is what you need –
Photo #1. Your face. Clear. Unobstructed. Not in a motorcycle helmet, a Covid mask, wearing a gangster-cocked fedora, or painted at a festival. Not a silhouette against the most beautiful sunset ever and not you making some kind of a statement or illustrating your likes or passions. Not squinting in glaring sunlight or a poorly lit room, not out of focus like someone took it of you while passing by you in a speeding car and not taken from space. Remember, the better your first and second photo are, the more discretion you have when it comes to the others.
Now that you have 9/10, how do we get that final point? Peripheral pics.
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